I take great pains to be moderate and reasonable in my debate with others. Usually I can see the other side of almost any issue, using my secret hippie powers of Open-Mindedness and Compassion. But when alone with another hippie, we do hate America and talk about destroying capitalism.
What follows is an article written by my father to commemorate the start of the 2008 Olympic Games:
Chinese officials were proud to announce the successful completion and joyous opening of the VIP masturbation sweet as the Olympic opening ceremony took place this morning. Specially honored guest Henry Kissinger could barely deliver is appreciative opening statement. His tear-filled, choked message evoked deeply-felt memories of beloved former Chairman Mao Tse Tung.See what I mean?
"I remember how he used to kidnap busloads of young Chinese girls and force them to provide him with sexual favors," said the elder statesman. "He even offered some of them to Dick Nixon and me. Who else cared so much for effective leaders around the globe?"
Kissinger broke down and had to leave the ceremony for special treatment by his Chinese hostesses, but he did issue a statement a few hours later statiung that he had become overwhelmed by his memory of how Chairman Mao caused the death of 48 million Chinese by stavation during his "Great Leap Forward," crushed all forms of religious expression, destroyed Tibet, and still managed to import busloads of Chinese girls for good times. "What a man," he said.
After Kissinger left, President George W. Bush was specially honored at the door of the suite by Chinese President Hu Jintao. "We all bask in the memory of Chairman Mao and his heroic meeting with Comrades Nixon and Kissinger," he said. "Who can better represent the spirit of those times than George W. Bush?" He then presented President Bush with a two liter bottle of Jack Daniels and a Wal-Mart shopping cart, and placed Mickey Mouse ears on his head.
"What?" said the President, between gulps.
ABC news anchor, Charles "Charlie" Gibson, summarized the ceremony by pointing out how "good it was for business." "M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!" he exclaimed. He was last seen running through the entrance.
We hippies also hate Henry Kissinger. This does not merit its own confession, as I doubt it's much of a secret. He is a fucking war criminal and we use his name like Christian folk use "Satan." He is to be mocked whenever possible, which works out to be quite often.
